The One With The Reason I'm Fat

The One With The H1N1 Theme Song

For those of you who are still paranoid about the Swine Flu A(H1N1)

When you wash your body, wash your hands, too.

Tom Toles: FRIEDay, November 7th, 2008

SIGH . . .

Non-Sequitur by Wiley

Exactly what I've been thinking:

The One With "Asians Prefert Someone Who Knows Where Asia Is"

This is too good to let go unsaid:

Asians prefer someone who knows where Asia is

Nury Vittachi , Bangkok | Sat, 10/11/2008 11:25 AM | Opinion

A Western journalist called me the other day to ask what Asians thought of Sarah Palin.

"Just a minute," I said. "I'll ask them."

I held my hand over phone, counted to 20 and then got back on the line. "They like him," I said. "But they think he should make more episodes of Monty Python."

There was a long pause. I heard the journalist's brain cell click into place. "That's not Sarah Palin," she eventually said. "That's Michael Palin."

"Well, Asians would like her to tell her husband to make more episodes of Monty Python."

"Actually, I don't think Michael Palin is her husband."

I took a sharp intake of breath. "They are not legally married? That's something that Asians definitely do not approve of."

"No, no, no, she's married to someone else, not Michael Palin."

"That makes it worse," I said.

There are few things in life more pleasurable than tormenting American journalists. The only downside is that it is so easy. They are absolutely convinced that the rest of the world watches every detail of what happens in the United States as if it was some sort of wacky global sitcom designed to entertain the rest of the planet. Actually, that is more or less the case. But I still like teasing them.

Anyway, the caller explained in words of one syllable that Sarah Palin could possibly be "the second most powerful person in the world" in a month and she needed a comment from Asia for a feature she was writing.

"I understand," I said. "Well, the first thing that Asians would want to know is does this Palin come from Palin?"

"What do you mean?" she said.

"You do know there's a place called Palin in Asia?" Silence.

"It's 400 kilometers north of Yangon. You do know where Yangon is, don't you?" I asked.

She changed the subject. "Sure, but are Asians concerned that someone with no practical understanding of Asia could soon be in a position of global leadership?"

It was my turn to sound baffled. "George W Bush has been leader of America for eight years already. There's a difference?"

"Ms Palin's level of familiarity with Asia makes George W Bush look like an old China hand," she replied.

"Now you're scaring me," I complained.

"So Asians wouldn't vote for her?"

"Most of us are not even allowed to vote for our own leaders. What's the point of asking us whether we'd vote for yours?"

Her tone was becoming icy, so I decided to strike a more conciliatory note. "What's Ms Palin's position on Jammu and Kashmir? How does she see Taiwan? For late-night takeaways, does she prefer Indian or Chinese?"

The journalist told me that Ms Palin had expressed no opinions on those subjects. But she claimed to have foreign experience, since she lived in Alaska, which was near Russia.

I nodded into the phone. "Alaska is near Russia, and Russia is near Asia, so that make her an Asia expert."

"She might think so," the journalist said.

Reluctantly, I decided I had to give a straight answer. "I think most Asians would rather that Obama's team won."

"Because he has lived in Asia?"

"Because his favourite food is chilli. He says his heart is all-American, but his bowels are definitely Asian."

The writer is a journalist and columnist. He can be reached at www.vittachi.com [1]

Copyright © 2008 The Jakarta Post - PT Bina Media Tenggara. All Rights Reserved.

The One With The Bee En Downfall Parody

This is too good
To let go unsaid

Someone had too much time on their hands
And decided to do this parody
Of the current situation
Of the Government of MALASia

I have no idea
What is being said
But the parody lies in the subtitles
It's so funny

Got it from
Kav's Kollage

The One With the Streaming XBOX360 Jump In Ad

Not only is this funny, but the location is Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Non Sequitur 070908

Click to enlarge. Especially for the female of the species.

Calvin and Hobbes 120808

The One With Paris Hilton As President

Found this at the FunnyOrDie website:

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

"I'm just hot."

The One With Simon's Cat

This is soooooooooooooooooooooo cute!

Tom Toles: Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Western Spaghetti

This is just so awesome, I had to share it.
More stuff can be found at Today's Big Thing

Non Sequitur - July 6th 2008

Where The Hell Is Matt

I saw this on MSN Videos and found it adorable. Waited till the end, coz I thought it was a commercial or something. Throughout, I kept thinking: Where is Wally?




More stuff, go to

Gentle Lessons of Life

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a new replacement for it.

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He who hesitates is probably doing the right thing.

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Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'

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If you think there is some good in everybody, you obviously haven't met 'everybody'.

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If you can smile when things go wrong, you must have someone else in mind to blame.

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The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so that he can tell when he's 'really' in trouble.

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There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.

For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

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Did you ever notice:

When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'

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Ageing:

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

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Some people try to turn back their life's odometers.

Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way.

I've travelled a long, long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

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When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

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You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

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One of the many things no one tells you about ageing is that it is such a nice change from being young.

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Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

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First you forget names, then you forget faces.

Then you forget to pull up your zipper.

It's even worse when you forget to pull it down.

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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.

Today, it's called golf.

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Just 4 Luffs

Another One To Laugh At

A friend of mine sent me this. Funnneeeee . . .



Miscommunication:
A co-worker got a pen stuck inside our printer. He started to try and remove the pen, but I told him we don't have time for that now, just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk. So he grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled on it. I left before he finished the note.
About 20 minutes later, one of my technician comes in laughing and says he was just in the lobby, saw a piece of paper on a printer and went to investigate.
Attached is what he found. Sometimes things don't always come out the way you want them to........

Just For Laughs

Life's too short to take anything too seriously. So, enjoy the following as taken from
FAIL Blog: Pictures and Videos of Owned, Pwnd and Fail Moments.

Non Sequitur: June 4, 2008

No, duh!