Gentle Lessons of Life

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a new replacement for it.

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He who hesitates is probably doing the right thing.

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Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'

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If you think there is some good in everybody, you obviously haven't met 'everybody'.

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If you can smile when things go wrong, you must have someone else in mind to blame.

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The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so that he can tell when he's 'really' in trouble.

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There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.

For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

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Did you ever notice:

When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'

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Ageing:

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

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Some people try to turn back their life's odometers.

Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way.

I've travelled a long, long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

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When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

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You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

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One of the many things no one tells you about ageing is that it is such a nice change from being young.

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Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

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First you forget names, then you forget faces.

Then you forget to pull up your zipper.

It's even worse when you forget to pull it down.

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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.

Today, it's called golf.

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