A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders.. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!
1.
Don't change horses
until they stop running.
2.
Strike while the
bug is close.
3.
It's always darkest before
Daylight Saving Time.
4.
Never underestimate the power of
termites.
5.
You can lead a horse to water but
How?
6.
Don't bite the hand that
looks dirty.
7.
No news is
impossible
8.
A miss is as good as a
Mr.
9.
You can't teach an old dog new
Math
10.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll
stink in the morning.
11.
Love all, trust
Me.
12.
The pen is mightier than the
pigs.
13.
An idle mind is
the best way to relax.
14.
Where there's smoke there's
pollution.
15.
Happy the bride who
gets all the presents.
16.
A penny saved is
not much.
17.
Two's company, three's
the Musketeers.
18...
Don't put off till tomorrow what
you put on to go to bed.
19.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
You have to blow your nose.
20.
There are none so blind as
Stevie Wonder.
21.
Children should be seen and not
spanked or grounded.
22.
If at first you don't succeed
get new batteries.
23.
You get out of something only what you
See in the picture on the box
24.
When the blind lead the blind
get out of the way.
25.
A bird in the hand
is going to poop on you.
And the WINNER and last one!
26.
Better late than
Pregnant
Friday, May 30, 2008
Classic Answers To Proverbs - 1st Grade Style
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tourism In South Africa
A few years ago, I was sent this funny bit of humor. I shared it with people and we all agreed it was funnneeee . . . Thought I lost it. Thanks to SAK for having the brains to save it and forwarding it back to me.
Tourism in South Africa
These questions about
Q: Does it ever get windy in
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres. Take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of
Q: Which direction is north in
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is... Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every
Q: Do you have perfume in
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Are there killer bees in
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan-hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be
Q: I was in
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
My dream cellphone
Ok, people.
This is the cellphone I have been waiting for all my life. And I'm currently saving my precious moolahs to own this baby.
Those of you who know me know that I used to have 2 previous Sony Ericsson cellphones, and both cellphones were stolen from me. I hope that my curse with SE cellphones won't continue with me getting this new baby.
So, this is a hint for those of you who are undecided what to get me for my birthday - there's still 7 months till end date. However, I'm not sure when it's coming out. It was said to be delayed till the first quarter of 2009, but Micai said not to believe everything you read.
Me like. Me want. Me love whoever gets it for me.
By the way, see if any scenes are familiar. I know I saw Buenos Aires in some of the scenes.
More information at it's site:
Sony Ericsson Xperia X1
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master
Found this on MSN. Read it. Comprehend it. Let it sink in.
Then laugh like you've never laughed before.
The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master
By Tom Chiarella
A Man Should Be Able To:
1. Give advice that matters in one sentence. I got run out of a job I liked once, and while it was happening, a guy stopped me in the hall. Smart guy, but prone to saying too much. I braced myself. I didn't want to hear it. I needed a white knight, and I knew it wasn't him. He just sighed and said: When nobody has your back, you gotta move your back. Then he walked away. Best advice I ever got. One sentence.
2. Tell if someone is lying. Everyone has his theory. Pick one, test it. Choose the tells that work for you. I like these: Liars change the subject quickly. Liars look up and to their right when they speak. Liars use fewer contractions. Liars will sometimes stare straight at you and employ a dead face. Liars never touch their chest or heart except self-consciously. Liars place objects between themselves and you during a conversation.
3. Take a photo. Fill the frame.
4. Score a baseball game. Scoring a game is an exercise in ciphering, creating a shorthand of your very own. In this way, it's a private language as much as a record of the game. The only given is the numbering of the positions and the use of the diamond to express each batter's progress around the bases. I black out the diamond when a run scores. I mark an RBI with a tally mark in the upper-right-hand corner. Each time you score a game, you pick up on new elements to track: pitch count, balls and strikes, foul balls. It doesn't matter that this information is available on the Internet in real time. Scoring a game is about bearing witness, expanding your own ability to observe.
5. Name a book that matters. The Catcher in the Rye does not matter. Not really. You gotta read.
6. Know at least one musical group as well as is possible. One guy at your table knows where Cobain was born and who his high school English teacher was. Another guy can argue the elegant extended trope of Liquid Swords with GZA himself. This is how it should be. Music does not demand agreement. Rilo Kiley. Nina Simone. Whitesnake. Fugazi. Otis Redding. Whatever. Choose. Nobody likes a know-it-all, because 1) you can't know it all and 2) music offers distinct and private lessons. So pick one. Except Rilo Kiley. I heard they broke up.
7. Cook meat somewhere other than the grill. Buy The Way to Cook, by Julia Child. Try roasting. Braising. Broiling. Slow-cooking. Pan searing. Think ragouts, fricassees, stews. All of this will force you to understand the functionality of different cuts. In the end, grilling will be a choice rather than a chore, and your Weber will become a tool rather than a piece of weekend entertainment.
8. Not monopolize the conversation.
9. Write a letter. So easy. So easily forgotten. A five-paragraph structure works pretty well: Tell why you're writing. Offer details. Ask questions. Give news. Add a specific memory or two. If your handwriting is terrible, type. Always close formally.
10. Buy a suit. Avoid bargains. Know your likes, your dislikes, and what you need it for (work, funerals, court). Squeeze the fabric — if it bounces back with little or no sign of wrinkling, that means it's good, sturdy material. And tug the buttons gently. If they feel loose or wobbly, that means they're probably coming off sooner rather than later. The jacket's shoulder pads are supposed to square with your shoulders; if they droop off or leave dents in the cloth, the jacket's too big. The jacket sleeves should never meet the wrist any lower than the base of the thumb — if they do, ask to go down a size. Always get fitted.
11. Swim three different strokes. Doggie paddle doesn't count.
12. Show respect without being a suck-up. Respect the following, in this order: age, experience, record, reputation. Don't mention any of it.
13. Throw a punch. Close enough, but not too close. Swing with your shoulders, not your arm. Long punches rarely land squarely. So forget the roundhouse. You don't have a haymaker. Follow through; don't pop and pull back. The length you give the punch should come in the form of extension after the point of contact. Just remember, the bones in your hand are small and easy to break. You're better off striking hard with the heel of your palm. Or you could buy the guy a beer and talk it out.
14. Chop down a tree. Know your escape path. When the tree starts to fall, use it.
15. Calculate square footage. Width times length.
16. Tie a bow tie.
17. Make one drink, in large batches, very well. When I interviewed for my first job, one of the senior guys had me to his house for a reception. He offered me a cigarette and pointed me to a bowl of whiskey sours, like I was Darrin Stephens and he was Larry Tate. I can still remember that first tight little swallow and my gratitude that I could go back for a refill without looking like a drunk. I came to admire the host over the next decade, but he never gave me the recipe. So I use this:
• For every 750-ml bottle of whiskey (use a decent bourbon or rye), add:
• 6 oz fresh-squeezed, strained lemon juice
• 6 oz simple syrup(mix superfine sugar and water in equal quantities)
To serve: Shake 3 oz per person with ice and strain into chilled cocktail glasses. Garnish with a cherry and an orange slice or, if you're really slick, a float of red wine. (Pour about ½ oz slowly into each glass over the back of a spoon; this is called a New York sour, and it's great.)
18. Speak a foreign language. Pas beaucoup. Mais faites un effort.
19. Approach a woman out of his league. Ever have a shoeshine from a guy you really admire? He works hard enough that he doesn't have to tell stupid jokes; he doesn't stare at your legs; he knows things you don't, but he doesn't talk about them every minute; he doesn't scrape or apologize for his status or his job or the way he is dressed; he does his job confidently and with a quiet relish. That stuff is wildly inviting. Act like that guy.
20. Sew a button.
21. Argue with a European without getting xenophobic or insulting soccer. Once, in our lifetime, much of Europe was approaching cultural and political irrelevance. Then they made like us and banded together into a union of confederated states. So you can always assume that they were simply copying the United States as they now push us to the verge of cultural and political irrelevance.
22. Give a woman an orgasm so that he doesn't have to ask after it. Otherwise, ask after it.
23. Be loyal. You will fail at it. You have already. A man who does not know loyalty, from both ends, does not know men. Loyalty is not a matter of give-and-take: He did me a favor, therefore I owe him one. No. No. No. It is the recognition of a bond, the honoring of a shared history, the reemergence of the vows we make in the tight times. It doesn't mean complete agreement or invisible blood ties. It is a currency of selflessness, given without expectation and capable of the most stellar return.
24. Know his poison, without standing there, pondering like a dope. Brand, amount, style, fast, like so: Booker's, double, neat.
25. Drive an eightpenny nail into a treated two-by-four without thinking about it. Use a contractor's hammer. Swing hard and loose, like a tennis serve.
26. Cast a fishing rod without shrieking or sighing or otherwise admitting defeat.
27. Play gin with an old guy. Old men will try to crush you. They'll drown you in meaningless chatter, tell stories about when they were kids this or in Korea that. Or they'll retreat into a taciturn posture designed to get you to do the talking. They'll note your strategies without mentioning them, keep the stakes at a level they can control, and change up their pace of play just to get you stumbling. You have to do this — play their game, be it dominoes or cribbage or chess. They may have been playing for decades. You take a beating as a means of absorbing the lessons they've learned without taking a lesson. But don't be afraid to take them down. They can handle it.
28. Play go fish with a kid. You don't crush kids. You talk their ear off, make an event out of it, tell them stories about when you were a kid this or in Vegas that. You have to play their game, too, even though they may have been playing only for weeks. Observe. Teach them without once offering a lesson. And don't be afraid to win. They can handle it.
29. Understand quantum physics well enough that he can accept that a quarter might, at some point, pass straight through the table when dropped. Sometimes the laws of physics aren't laws at all. Read The Quantum World: Quantum Physics for Everyone, by Kenneth W. Ford.
30. Feign interest. Good place to start: quantum physics.
31. Make a bed.
32. Describe a glass of wine in one sentence without using the terms nutty, fruity, oaky, finish, or kick. I once stood in a wine store in West Hollywood where the owner described a pinot noir he favored as "a night walk through a wet garden." I bought it. I went to my hotel and drank it by myself, looking at the flickering city with my feet on the windowsill. I don't know which was more right, the wine or the vision that he placed in my head. Point is, it was right.
33. Hit a jump shot in pool. It's not something you use a lot, but when you hit a jump shot, it marks you as a player and briefly impresses women. Make the angle of your cue steeper, aim for the bottommost fraction of the ball, and drive the cue smoothly six inches past the contact point, making steady, downward contact with the felt.
34. Dress a wound. First, stop the bleeding. Apply pressure using a gauze pad. Stay with the pressure. If you can't stop the bleeding, forget the next step, just get to a hospital. Once the bleeding stops, clean the wound. Use water or saline solution; a little soap is good, too. If you can't get the wound clean, then forget the next step, just get to a hospital. Finally, dress the wound. For a laceration, push the edges together and apply a butterfly bandage. For avulsions, where the skin is punctured and pulled back like a trapdoor, push the skin back and use a butterfly. Slather the area in antibacterial ointment. Cover the wound with a gauze pad taped into place. Change that dressing every 12 hours, checking carefully for signs of infection. Better yet, get to a hospital.
35. Jump-start a car (without any drama). Change a flat tire (safely). Change the oil (once).
36. Make three different bets at a craps table. Play the smallest and most poorly labeled areas, the bets where it's visually evident the casino doesn't want you to go. Simply play the pass line; once the point is set, play full odds (this is the only really good bet on the table); and when you want a little more action, tell the crew you want to lay the 4 and the 10 for the minimum bet.
37. Shuffle a deck of cards. I play cards with guys who can't shuffle, and they lose. Always.
38. Tell a joke. Here's one:
Two guys are walking down a dark alley when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then, one guy turns to the other, hands him a bill, and says, "Hey, here's that $20 I owe you."
39. Know when to split his cards in blackjack. Aces. Eights. Always.
40. Speak to an eight-year-old so he will hear. Use his first name. Don't use baby talk. Don't crank up your energy to match his. Ask questions and wait for answers. Follow up. Don't pretend to be interested in Webkinz or Power Rangers or whatever. He's as bored with that sh** as you are. Concentrate instead on seeing the child as a person of his own.
41. Speak to a waiter so he will hear. You don't own the restaurant, so don't act like it. You own the transaction. So don't speak into the menu. Lift your chin. Make eye contact. All restaurants have secrets — let it be known that you expect to see some of them.
42. Talk to a dog so it will hear. Go ahead, use baby talk.
43. Install: a disposal, an electronic thermostat, or a lighting fixture without asking for help. Just turn off the damned main.
44. Ask for help. Guys who refuse to ask for help are the most cursed men of all. The stubborn, the self-possessed, and the distant. The hell with them.
45. Break another man's grip on his wrist. Rotate your arm rapidly in the grip, toward the other guy's thumb.
46. Tell a woman's dress size.
47. Recite one poem from memory. Here you go:
WHEN YOU ARE OLD
When you are old and gray and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
—William Butler Yeats
48. Remove a stain. Blot. Always blot.
49. Say no.
50. Fry an egg sunny-side up. Cook until the white appears solid . . . and no longer.
51. Build a campfire.
There are three components:
- The tinder — bone-dry, snappable twigs, about as long as your hand. You need two complete handfuls. Try birch bark; it burns long and hot.
- The kindling — thick as your thumb, long as your forearm, breakable with two hands. You need two armfuls.
- Fuel wood — anything thick and long enough that it can't be broken by hand. It's okay if it's slightly damp. You need a knee-high stack.
Step 1:Light the tinder, turning the pile gently to get air underneath it.
Step 2: Feed the kindling into the emergent fire with some pace.
Step 3: Lay on the fuel wood. Pyramid, the log cabin, what-ever — the idea is to create some kind of structure so that plenty of air gets to the fire.
52. Step into a job no one wants to do. When I was 13, my dad called me into his office at the large urban mall he ran. He was on the phone. What followed was a fairly banal 15-minute conversation, which involved the collection of rent from a store. On and on, droning about store hours and lighting problems. I kept raising my eyebrows, pretending to stand up, and my dad kept waving me down. I could hear only his end, garrulous and unrelenting. He rolled his eyes as the excuses kept coming. His assertions were simple and to the point, like a drumbeat. He wanted the rent. He wanted the store to stay open when the mall was open. Then suddenly, having given the job the time it deserved, he put it to an end. "So if I see your gate down next Sunday afternoon, I'm going to get a drill and stick a goddamn bolt in it and lock you down for the next week, right?" When he hung up, rent collected, he took a deep breath. "I've been dreading that call," he said. "Once a week you gotta try something you never would do if you had the choice. Otherwise, why are you here?" So he gave me that. And this . . .
53. Sometimes, kick some ass.
54. Break up a fight. Work in pairs if possible. Don't get between people initially. Use the back of the collar, pull and urge the person downward. If you can't get him down, work for distance.
55. Point to the north at any time. If you have a watch, you can point the hour hand at the sun. Then find the point directly between the hour hand and the 12. That's south. The opposite direction is, of course, north.
56. Create a play-list in which ten seemingly random songs provide a secret message to one person.
57. Explain what a light-year is. It's the measure of the distance that light travels over 365.25 days.
58. Avoid boredom. You have enough to eat. You can move. This must be acknowledged as a kind of freedom. You don't always have to buy things, put things in your mouth, or be delighted.
59. Write a thank-you note. Make a habit of it. Follow a simple formula like this one: First line is a thesis statement. The second line is evidentiary. The third is a kind of assertion. Close on an uptick.
Thanks for having me over to watch game six. Even though they won, it's clear the Red Sox are a soulless, overmarketed contrivance of Fox TV. Still, I'm awfully happy you have that huge high-def television. Next time, I really will bring beer. Yours,
60. Be brand loyal to at least one product. It tells a lot about who you are and where you came from. Me? I like Hellman's mayonnaise and Genesee beer, which makes me the fleshy, stubbornly upstate ne'er-do-well that I will always be.
61. Cook bacon. Lay out the bacon on a rack on a baking sheet. Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes.
62. Hold a baby. Newborns should be wrapped tightly and held against the chest. They like tight spaces (consider their previous circumstances) and rhythmic movements, so hold them snug, tuck them in the crook of your elbow or against the skin of your neck. Rock your hips like you're bored, barely listening to the music at the edge of a wedding reception. No one has to notice except the baby. Don't breathe all over them.
63. Deliver a eulogy. Take the job seriously. It matters. Speak first to the family, then to the outside world. Write it down. Avoid similes. Don't read poetry. Be funny.
64. Know that Christopher Columbus was a son of a bitch. When I was a kid, because I'm Italian and because the Irish guys in my neighborhood were relentless with the beatings on St. Patrick's Day, I loved the very idea of Christopher Columbus. I loved the fact that Irish kids worshipped some gnome who drove all the rats out of Ireland or whatever, whereas my hero was an explorer. Man, I drank the Kool-Aid on that guy. Of course, I later learned that he was a hand-chopping, land-stealing egotist who sold out an entire hemisphere to European avarice. So I left Columbus behind. Your understanding of your heroes must evolve. See Roger Clemens. See Bill Belichick.
65-67. Throw a baseball over-hand with some snap. Throw a football with a tight spiral. Shoot a 12-foot jump shot reliably. If you can't, play more ball.
68. Find his way out of the woods if lost. Note your landmarks — mountains, power lines, the sound of a highway. Look for the sun: It sits in the south; it moves west. Gauge your direction every few minutes. If you're completely stuck, look for a small creek and follow it downstream. Water flows toward larger bodies of water, where people live.
69. Tie a knot. Square knot: left rope over right rope, turn under. Then right rope over left rope. Tuck under. Pull. Or as my pack leader, Dave Kenyon, told me in a Boy Scouts meeting: "Left over right, right over left. What's so f***ing hard about that?"
70. Shake hands. Steady, firm, pump, let go. Use the time to make eye contact, since that's where the social contract begins.
71. Iron a shirt. My uncle Tony the tailor once told me of ironing: Start rough, end gently.
72. Stock an emergency bag for the car. Blanket. Heavy flashlight. Hand warmers. Six bottles of water. Six packs of beef jerky. Atlas. Reflectors. Gloves. Socks. Bandages. Neosporin. Inhaler. Benadryl. Motrin. Hard candy. Telescoping magnet. Screwdriver. Channel-locks. Crescent wrench. Ski hat. Bandanna.
73. Caress a woman's neck. Back of your fingers, in a slow fan.
74. Know some birds. If you can't pay attention to a bird, then you can't learn from detail, you aren't likely to appreciate the beauty of evolution, and you don't have a clue how birdlike your own habits may be. You've been looking at them blindly for years now. Get a guide.
75. Negotiate a better price. Be informed. Know the price of competitors. In a big store, look for a manager. Don't be an a-hole. Use one phrase as your mantra, like "I need a little help with this one." Repeat it, as an invitation to him. Don't beg. Ever. Offer something: your loyalty, your next purchase, even your friendship, and, with the deal done, your gratitude.
A Message From John Cleese
Someone gave me this some weeks back and only today I saw it again. So, I thought I'd share it. For those of you who don't know who John Cleese is, he's the new Q in the past few James Bond films. He also plays Nearly Headless Nick in the Harry Potter films. Just to name a few roles.
Funneeeeee. . . .
Disclaimer: While looking for a picture of him to put here, I found another blog where the same content was posted. Well, it's funny, so I thought I would share it again with others. Bite me!
A Message from John Cleese - British comedian -- to the citizens of the
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except
Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
2. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
3. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (Look up 'vocabulary').
4. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.
5. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
6. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
7. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour
9. The Former USA will adopt
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of
12.
13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds
or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try
14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God save the Queen.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Am I standing still?
The outside winds blow in the bluest of skies
The clouds keep changing before my eyes.
The birds seem happy while they sing their songs
Is it my imagination or is the day that long?
The children play and laugh to their heart’s delight
And colorful butterflies danced in their flight.
Loving couples romance the hearts of one another
Their love now seems to have grown stronger.
The sun is bright when the day is high
The shadows just seem to pass me by.
When darkness falls, the stars they sing
To the night, that the moon it will bring.
I have this feeling in my heart
Try as I may, it will not part
Something is happening for this I know
The time, it seems, is going slow.
Because am I standing still?
And have I lost my will?
As for the reason I am feeling blue
I suppose it is simply because I miss you.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Seasons of Love (a.k.a. Ciclos de Amor)
This morning, when I walking to work, I found myself almost yelling out the lines of SEASONS OF LOVE from RENT (iPod blasting in my ears). Try as I may, I could not refrain, and the moment I got into my office, “five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes” was heard at a pitch only audible to dogs and those with hearing aides set on high.
What was the cause of my shouting to the world of the need to “measure a year in the life”? Curse the infectious tunes of RENT: La Vida Es Hoy, the Argentine adaptation of RENT, the Broadway Musical.
Reminiscing back to some day in 2006, I found myself in the Nederlander Theatre in
I was kind of stoked to go watch RENT. A year before (2005, if I'm not mistaken), the Broadway show was made into a movie and I heard great reviews of it. I knew basically the gist of the story, so kind of knew what to expect.
Jonathan Larson’s RENT is the story of a group of down trodden young artists and musicians trying to make it in the Big Apple (
After the end of the show, Devrin made a comment that will forever be remembered by me:
"If you can't pay the rent, then stop singing and go get a job!"
Least to say, he wasn't a fan of the show.
Characters in Rent (Source: Wikipedia, of course):
- Mark Cohen, a struggling documentary filmmaker, the narrator of the show and the person who creates a final movie which details his friends' lives and journeys throughout the story. Ex-Boyfriend of Maureen. Roommate of Roger. Baritone/Tenor
- Roger Davis, an HIV infected musician who is recovering from heroin addiction; his girlfriend April killed herself after finding out she had HIV; Mark's roommate and Mimi's love interest. Tenor.
- Tom Collins, a gay philosophy teacher and anarchist with AIDS; friend and former roommate of Roger, Mark, Benny, and Maureen; Angel's lover. Baritone.
- Mimi Marquez, an HIV-positive exotic dancer and heroin junkie; Roger's love interest who used to be involved with "Benny" Coffin III. Mezzo-soprano.
- Angel Dumott Schunard, a gay drag queen street percussionist/musician with AIDS; Collins' lover. Tenor with falsetto.
- Joanne Jefferson, an Ivy League-educated lawyer; Maureen's lover; lesbian. Alto/Mezzo-soprano.
- Maureen Johnson, a bisexual performance artist; Joanne's girlfriend; Mark's ex-girlfriend. Mezzo-soprano.
- Benjamin "Benny" Coffin III, landlord of Mark, Roger and Mimi's apartment building; ex-roommate of Mark, Collins, Roger, and Maureen. Now married to Alison Grey of the Westport Greys and thus considered a yuppie sell-out. Tenor.
Ok... . Fast forward to 2008.
Last night, I went to watch the Argentine version of the musical. RENT: La Vida Es Hoy (Life is Today). It was held at the Konex Cultural Centre that I’ve only been to once – with Jessica to watch a drum show (totally rocked!). And first thing I totally LOVED when I went into the theatre was the fact that I was seated at the second row from the stage! PRIME!
Ok, so the Argentine version stayed ALMOST true to the original musical – with the exception of it being all in Spanish. DUH! Among a few difference that I picked up on, included:
- The Broadway version I saw had maybe around seven extras / stand-ins. The Argentine version had 12 (although last night only 11 performed).
- Not much emphasize was placed on the issue of HIV / AIDS, aside from one character dying from it (a pivotal plot) and another mentioned briefly. In the Broadway version, I remembered that the character of Roger Davis had more emphasize on him being HIV positive as apposed to this current adaptation.
Note: I found out some time ago, that the people in
· The Song that got me singing all morning (Seasons of Love) was now Ciclos de Amor. In the Broadway version, two of the main actors sang the solo parts of the song. In the Argentine version, three extras / stand-ins sang the solo parts - which led me to think that maybe the main actors weren’t that strong to perform their roles.
· There were several scenes involving the characters getting voice messages on their telephone. If I’m not mistaken, in the Broadway version, we only heard the voices on the machines. In the Argentine version, the extras acted out the characters that left the messages.
So, what did I think of the overall show? In a word: Eh. The acting was fine, but it was the singing that I was more focused on.
For instance, the actress that played Mimi (Florencia Otero), for one, failed to “bring it”. In Rent, Mimi’s big solo performance was a song called “A algún lugar” (Out Tonight). The song was supposed to show the actress’ singing abilities. Instead, I find that her voice was drowned in the music and she was caught breathless on a few occasions.
One of the more loved scenes of Rent was with Angel doing the Red Christmas outfit dance in the song “Hoy es por vos” (Today 4 U). In the Argentine version, the actor that played Angel (coincidentally also named Ángel Hernández) was less limber than his Broadway counterpart – leading to a stiff Angel. Also, the character was supposed to use drumsticks to “make” music out of the walls and table. The actor wasn’t able to pull it off as well in the Argentine version.
As I’ve said before, the better known song “Ciclos de Amor” (Seasons of Love) was not sung by the main cast in the solo parts. I found this a pity, since the stand-ins that did the solo parts of the song should have been in the main eight cast members, considering they sang better.
Characters comparison between the La bohème and Rent:
| Character in La bohème | Character in Rent |
| Mimi, a seamstress with tuberculosis | Mimi Marquez, an exotic dancer with HIV |
| Rodolfo, a poet | Roger Davis, a musician who is HIV positive |
| Marcello, a painter | Mark Cohen, a filmmaker |
| Musetta, a singer | Maureen Johnson, a bisexual performance artist |
| Schaunard, a musician | Angel Dumott Schunard, a cross-dressing percussionist with AIDS |
| Colline, a philosopher | Tom Collins, a homosexual philosophy professor and Anarchist philosopher with AIDS |
| Alcindoro, a state councilor | Joanne Jefferson, a lawyer and a lesbian (Also partially based on Marcello) |
| Benoit, a landlord | Benjamin 'Benny' Coffin III, also a landlord |
A few trivia:
- The opera La Boheme was about the lives of poor young artists. The differences between that and RENT included changing tuberculosis with AIDS, 1800 Paris to late 1980s
- Rent is the second-longest-running musical on Broadway, second only to The Phantom of the Opera (which I am not a fan at all). After 12 years, seems like Rent will finally call it quits on Broadway come September 7, 2008.
- The movie adaptation had all the original cast members - except two: Mimi's character was played by Rosario Dawson (Daphne Rubin-Vega who originally played the character was pregnant during the shooting) and Joanne was played by Tracie Thoms (original actress, Fredi Walker thought she was too old to play the part).
- Jonathan Larson spent almost seven years coming up with the show, with the final version having 42 songs. But Larson never got to see the first show played - he died from an undiagnosed aortic aneurysm on January 25, 1996, just a few hours after his first interview of the musical's final dress rehearsal and the eve of the show’s first performance off-Broadway.
My overall Stargazing: 3 out of 5
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